When was the last time someone told you to smile? Picture it: you’re walking down the street, lost in a deep thought. A stranger catches your eye, leans in and says with the same tone as your least favorite grade school teacher, “SMILE.” There’s no better way to make me snarl. Smile? Step off, clown.

But here I am, advocating more lift in your upper lip if you’re a speaker, and more recruits for the smile police if you’re evaluating a speech. Hold the snarls for just a bit, if you can.

What’s in a smile? Speakers need smiles. They’re as important as business cards, ‘open’ signs on a store’s front door or a tailored suit.

First impressions count. Consider the components of that impression when speaking:

Your appearance
The moment before you begin speaking
Your first communicative gesture
Your first words

By the time you finish your first sentence, the audience has constructed an opinion of you that will be hard to tear down and remake if it’s not the one you intended.

As a coach, I watch for a conscious approach by the speaker with their first impression. Is it crafted, like the text of the speech? Is it effective? Strong?

A smile should be the first communicative gesture you make. I have to think hard to find a speaking occasion when a smile doesn’t make the job easier. There’s a lot more occasions a smile makes sense.

First, a smile relaxes the speaker. From the outside in. Butterflies may be flapping up a storm in a speaker’s stomach; a smile may feel like the polar opposite expression from the one your face wants to make naturally. All the more reason to plaster a believable smile on your face. Here’s proof: try holding any expression for 10 seconds in the mirror and see how your internal mood changes.

Second, a smile shows confidence. Nervous people may grin like maniacs without realizing it, but confident people have the right smile ready for any occasion.

And third, a smile wins hearts. Want to persuade a group about your opinion? Want to create sympathetic identification in people that don’t know you? Want to take control of the peaks and valleys of audience emotion that defines a speech as great? (Rory Vaden’s definition, not mine.) Start with a smile. A smile is a pleasure and a skill at the same time.

Evaluators, is there a smile in the speaker’s voice? Do they have a granite grimness through too much of the speech? Let speakers know they should choreograph more smiles into their speech; to be conscious of the best moments to use a smile as punctuation.

Speakers, practice smiling if it doesn’t come naturally to you, (especially if your face locks up or goes blank when nervous.) Some speakers never smile, but the ones that do carry me with them. There are occasions so momentous, situations so dire, that a smile might weaken the deadly serious effect of an orator. But you will give many more speeches in your life when a smile will help make the day. Sometimes the noblest thing you can do from the lectern is demonstrate your courage – with a smile.

And evaluators, you don’t really have to act like the smile police. But you do have a responsibility to reflect how well the speaker connects with you. Offering them the simplest solution, to smile more, is not only helpful, it’s foundational to good communication.

And when you give them the feedback, don’t forget to smile.

[Need some examples of how smiles can work for you? Nixon couldn’t get elected until he learned how to seem less stiff. The famous Checkers speech, where he talked about his dog, created sympathy in his audience. He also planned his smiles on the campaign trail. Along with his ‘V’ sign, the broad smile helped to tip the balance in his favor. George Clooney could deliver traumatic information to a patient on E.R. with a sad smile that softened the blow. Clark Gable’s smile in Gone With The Wind still reaches out across the decades with its power to charm.]

Next up: That face, that beautiful face…