Michael H. Schaefer, DTM

One on One Coach, Keynote Speaker, Leadership Trainer

Facial Relations

I’m a notorious criminal. When I sense an opportunity, I attack. At least part of me does. My face.

Let me explain. I’m a mugger. Not a purse-snatching, dodging through traffic kind of mugger, but an abuser of the neutral, relaxed face. Give me half a second with almost any thought and I’ll translate it into a vivid facial expression. I ‘mug’ a lot with my face.

And here’s the embarrassing revelation: I even mug when I’m all by myself. It amuses me. I was an only child for a long time. No sad violins. I was perfectly happy making faces while I did the announcing for my Hot Wheels toy car drag races. But habits were formed, people.

And, boy, do I appreciate good facial expressions in a live speech. There’s a lot of room for criminals like me on the podium. However, filmed or taped speeches, especially in close up, make muggers like me look like your crazy aunt Esther, so I’ve had to learn to tone it down.

But if there’s a few feet or more between you and the audience, in a florescent-lit, nondescript room, first thing in the morning before anyone’s awake or after lunch, when they really want a siesta, you better bring some serious face to the party. Something dynamic.

Coaches, put yourself in the audience’s position: is your interest being held? Often the visual component of a speech is underwhelming. Let the speaker know how he or she is impacting you visually.

Using facial expressions can be the simplest, yet paradoxically, the most effective visual tool you can use in a speech. You can add big, full gestures, easels, or slide shows, but as visual creatures it’s the face we connect with first.

Long ago our ancestors’ eyes and faces became the signaling tools favored to help identify and communicate with other members of a social species. Some core expressions are universally understood across human cultures. How fluent are you in the non-verbal languages? Are you supporting your message with your face?

Have you seen video of yourself speaking lately? What side of the law are you on? Are you a mugger or a stone face killa, boring us to death? Hopefully somewhere in between, allowing your face to communicate your message with your words, and expressing the desire to be understood by your audience.

While it’s hard to pin down the exact number (some studies say more than half), a major percentage of what an audience remembers is visual. So let’s leave it like this:


ACTION TIP:  In front of a mirror, or better yet, on video, try rehearsing you speech without words, just expressions. Add some gibberish if it helps, but focus on your face, not the sounds.

Next: the eyes have it…

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